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20 August Oh, the English came and they jumbled up the letters, but the brave Irish boys made it into a word...Today, I went to yet another show at the Edinburgh Festival - but this one was free! It was also the bestest show ever. Mainly because I met Bill Bailey. I KNOW! Cool or what... Here's how it went:
Jenny approached St Johns church apprenhesively. Having read on Bill Bailey's blog that he was doing a free talk at the church that day, she had decided to go along, but both the Fest newspaper and the Edinburgh Fringe website had agreed that there was some sort of new age hippy exhibition on at the same time. She was alone, due to friends having a lack of time, prior arrangements, lack of funding, lack of knowledge of Bill Bailey, and various other excuses. A small sign at the door whispered to her "Bill Bailey: Talk and q&a session today. Free. All welcome" Smiling, she went in, gladly accepting a free programme from a lady at the door, and grabbed a pew.
Some kid played tuba for a minute or so, but since Jenny did not know the piece, she was not certain if he was playing it beautifully or just hitting bum notes and mispitching. A minister introduced Mr Bailey, who came on and did a talk in his usual pant-wettingly (not literally) funny way. He included a couple of jokes from his stand up, including the one where the Muslim school children asked him what the British crops were, and the joke about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, which were even more funny in the flesh, and he also included a lot of new material - most notibly a parody of the Da Vinci Code. Once his talk was over, he sat down and was quizzed by some church guy, and various members of the audience about life, death, and everything in between. Tuba boy played another minute of tuneful warblings, and it was over. Bill was standing in a corner of the church. Jenny took her time switching on her phone and gathering her stuff. She ambled over to Bill in a discreet manner, and when the people who were talking to him before her moved, she grabbed her chance and started talking to him.
Jenny: Hi! *beams*
Bill Bailey: Um...hello!
Jenny: Great show today! I saw you in The Odd Couple yesterday, it was VERY good *beams like a maniac*
Bill Bailey: Cool, thanks! Jenny: Could you sign my programme for me please?
Bill Bailey: Sure, got a pen?
Jenny: Um, no *looks around madly*
Geek Boy: Here!
Jenny: Cheers! *passes pen to Mr Bailey* Bill Bailey: There you go!
Jenny: Thanks! I was wondering, well, you mentioned playing piano and guitar in your talk.
Bill Bailey: Yuh-huh, that's right *twiddles with pen*
Jenny: Did you get lessons?
Bill Bailey: Well I did for the piano, but I'm self taught on the guitar. Jenny: Cool!
Bill Bailey: Yeah, there was a guitar tutor at my school, but he was hopeless. All he did was play something like this *gets out air guitar and plays a big slash-esque solo* then go, "Right, play that!". And we would all just go "Eh? No!"
Various Eavesdroppers: *laugh merrily*
Bill Bailey: Oh dear, I seem to have broken your pen! *hands pen in two pieces back to Geek Boy*
Geek Boy: *looks positively thrilled to have had his pen broken by a God*
Bill Bailey: But the piano, I got lessons for. So yeah, do you play instruments?
Jenny: Yeah, well I play piano and guitar and stuff.
Bill Bailey: Nice! Yeah, music is great. Piano and guitar are the best. I usually prefer playing guitar to be honest, though. It's a bit cooler, innit?
Jenny: Yeah, unless you are Stevie Wonder or something.
Bill Bailey: *laughs* exactly! *air keyboards, Stevie Wonder style* (Various Eavesdroppers: *laugh*)
Bill Bailey: Or Kraftwerk! *vivid imitations of playing keyboard like Kraftwerk* But usually you just look like you are working a machine or something, y'know?
Jenny: Hahaha, yeah. *thinks* Yaay Kraftwerk! *notices menacing glares from people surrounding* Well I guess I'd better go.
Bill Bailey: Oh well, nice meeting you, thanks for coming!
Jenny: Byee!
Jenny then skips out of the church, with a massive grin, clutching her shiny new Bill Bailey autograph, and saunders off into the sunset. Well, the scorching post-midday sun.
And that, my friends, is all.
So, who is jealous?
Since I did not get a chance to get a photo taken with Mr. Bailey, I took it upon myself to MAKE a photo. In the words of Kyle, it "almost looks real!":
I will put up a photo of my shiny new autographed programme as soon as I scan it up!
Today's question: Which famous persons have you met? (For the record, I have also met Jack Straw, who laughed at Iona's joke. Well, he's a politician, did you expect him to have a sense of humour?)
Toodle pip, my little amigos!
Jenny xxxxx
[EDIT] The pen wasn't very broken, just the clip bit at the top.
[EDIT 2] Can you please tell me if the pic works? I have added it into the bit below, but I want it to be in the actual blog too.
Also, does the new music work? (It's Bill Bailey's Cockney Parody - obsessed? Me? Never!)
Here's a little poll:
Q: Which Bill Bailey song should I use for this space?
A: 1. Cockney Parody 2. Magic Roundabout 3. BBC Apocalyptic Rave
4. Countdown Please tell me what you think!
Also, in the light of Shelagh's comment, I remembered the time at Edinburgh Waverly where I saw Hamish Clark from Monarch of the Glen. I didn't have a clue who in buggery he was, but I was with some MOTG obsessives at the time.
[EDIT 3] Heehee! I'm loving all the jealousy! I need more votes on the poll, come on people - this is pathetic.
I redid the photo of me and Bill, after too many complaints about how sunburnt I look in it. This time I have gone too far the other way - I look like a ghost. Thoughts please? Also added some more quotes in - Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey ones. Go see! Kommentare (22)Melden Sie sich zum Hinzufügen eines Kommentars mit Ihrer Windows Live ID an (wenn Sie Hotmail, Messenger oder Xbox LIVE verwenden, besitzen Sie eine Windows Live ID). Anmelden Sie haben noch keine Windows Live ID? Registrieren
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